Sorting out footage and editing together a beginning scene

To get a better sense of timing matt told us to throw together our selected footage on final cut pro and work out how much time we were on, what went where, how long the shots would be etc... It was really helpful and i found that from doing it i was wayyyy over my 1 minute. Here's the first fottage video i put together.

-old one (already editing insert)

And here's my updated better version which has helped me work out my timing better and cut down scenes i didn't need.

-new one ( still to edit)